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flixiedust

Watching movies isn't my job, but it sure as fuck should be.

FFF Vol. XXX

Date Received: January 26, 2017 Context: Me being eternally grateful Vol. XXX is not another photo of Lady Gaga's bare ass

FFF Vol. XXIX

Date Received: November 6, 2016 Context: Solange performs on "Saturday Night Live" Lord help my father if he ever encounters the Beyhive.

FFF Vol. XXVIII

Date Received: October 30, 2016 Context: The only thing my father takes more seriously than his love for ballsy, polarizing comediennes is his love for Cleveland sports. This ain't no fucking game.

FFF Vol. XXVII

Date Received: September 26, 2016 Context: My dad's neighbor is a moron who puts a red lightbulb in his porch light every Christmas (not the point of this post, but I mean, come on.)

FFF Vol. XXVI

Date Received: August 28, 2016 Context: Filling out "Jeopardy!" contestant forms Truer words have never been spoken.

FFF Vol. XXV

Date Received: August 25, 2016 Context: Was reading up on presidential facts for my doomed appearance on "Jeopardy!" Ended up learning two things that I truly never needed - nor wanted - to know.

FFF Vol. XXIV

Date Received: July 17, 2016 Context: Andy Murray

FFF Vol. XXIII

Date Received: June 27, 2016 Context: Not a true fax, but important all the same. Sent immediate family my vacation itinerary, and my father responded with his motive to have me murdered. And yes, I left the @aol.com visible to shame him.

FFF Vol. XXII

Date Received: March 20, 2016 Context: ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

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