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Watching movies isn't my job, but it sure as fuck should be.

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FFF (Faxes From Fahjz)

My father learned to text at 60 years old. He thinks it’s called “faxing.” This is a compilation of the best of the best.

FFF Vol. XXXIV

Date Received: February 23, 2017 Context: There is nothing that makes me more uncomfortable than the smell of oranges... Until now.

FFF Vol. XXXIII

Date Received: February 6, 2017 Context:

FFF Vol. XXXII

Date Received: February 3, 2017 Context: Naked baby booty (his grandson's, specifically)

FFF Vol. XXXI

Date Received: December 28, 2016 Context: Cleveland Scene magazine launches a contest to redesign the Indians' team name and logo: redesignthetribe.com

FFF Vol. XXX

Date Received: January 26, 2017 Context: Me being eternally grateful Vol. XXX is not another photo of Lady Gaga's bare ass

FFF Vol. XXIX

Date Received: November 6, 2016 Context: Solange performs on "Saturday Night Live" Lord help my father if he ever encounters the Beyhive.

FFF Vol. XXVIII

Date Received: October 30, 2016 Context: The only thing my father takes more seriously than his love for ballsy, polarizing comediennes is his love for Cleveland sports. This ain't no fucking game.

FFF Vol. XXVII

Date Received: September 26, 2016 Context: My dad's neighbor is a moron who puts a red lightbulb in his porch light every Christmas (not the point of this post, but I mean, come on.)

FFF Vol. XXVI

Date Received: August 28, 2016 Context: Filling out "Jeopardy!" contestant forms Truer words have never been spoken.

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