Watching movies isn't my job, but it sure as fuck should be.

How To Win Your Oscar Pool: Part I

Listen, I realize in the grand scheme of things, watching movies fares just a tad lower than say... the inevitably of you and everyone you've ever loved being incinerated to a gelatinous pile of goo in the impending nuclear holocaust. But would it have... Continue Reading →


How To Win Your Oscar Pool: Part II

There are 62 films nominated for an Oscar this year. This post contains 30 of those nominees. You have *maybe* heard of 2 or 3 of them. So take note. This is "How To Win Your Oscar Pool (And Other Ways to Be... Continue Reading →

How To Win Your Oscar Pool: Part III

Here we are at the bathroom break awards, because those damn shorts and (shudder) foreign language bullshit snuck up on you, and at that point you were way too comfortable on the couch to move and obviously too busy scrolling through... Continue Reading →

How To Win Your Oscar Pool: Part IV

Congratulations! You've made it to the part where we discuss 5 of the 6 categories that you "normal" people that don't spend 2-3 days a week in a movie theater actually pretend to give a shit about. You can un-glaze your... Continue Reading →

How To Win Your Oscar Pool: Part V

There were over 1,000 movies released last year. 62 were nominated for an Academy Award. You essentially only had to see these 9. But congrats on having a life, or whatever... "How To Win Your Oscar Pool (And Other Ways... Continue Reading →


Date Received: February 23, 2017 Context: There is nothing that makes me more uncomfortable than the smell of oranges... Until now.


Date Received: February 6, 2017 Context:


Date Received: February 3, 2017 Context: Naked baby booty (his grandson's, specifically)


Date Received: December 28, 2016 Context: Cleveland Scene magazine launches a contest to redesign the Indians' team name and logo:

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